The issue of control keeps coming up over and over again for you. You can't control life. You can only live your life. And you can live it in any way you want, in that you can choose your feelings about the people around you, and what's going on around you, so live it like that. Give up trying to control it, and live it. Live it to the fullest. Life is good, whether you're happy or not. Personally, I think the pursuit of happiness is just a waste of time, so forget about being happy. What is happiness anyway, other than being surrounded by people who love you? And you can't choose how they love you. You can only choose to feel the love. Feel the love. This is a wonderful time in your life, if you choose to see it that way. And as far as all the mistakes go, is anything really a mistake? Or are mistakes just lessons? Everyone makes mistakes. Life is a school, a learning process, and some lessons are more painful than others, but that's just how it is. That's just how it is, Anne.

The Secret Life of the American Teenager