I never missed you.

I never missed you
I don't need to turn around to know who pats on my shoulder while I'm walking under the Narra tree.

I never missed you.
I don't have to find a new road because I can find you sitting on the bench at the corner of the street on my way home.

I never missed you.
I never stared at my cell phone waiting for you to call or to send a short message; my phone always rings.

I never missed you.
I never missed your hand. The hand that always hold my hand.

I never missed you.
Now tell me, how does it feel if someday there was no one patting on my shoulder?
Now tell me, how does it feel if someday I saw no one on that bench?
Now tell me, how does it feel if someday I knew no one would call even just for saying good night?
Now tell me, how does it feel if someday I felt nothing in my hand?

Thus, I never missed you.

vrdf.

With this kind of repeating stupid sounds in my head something like "I don't deserve this and that", you will never know how happy I can be.

vrdf.

It was the time for me to sleep, the time to cross to the parallel universe, and wake up there to face things I didn't face here, the structured things. The structured things, things from my master plan where my wish is a command. Where the end of every paths have been clearly printed.

No more wrong way. No surprises. No adrenaline. Flat, and structured.

vrdf.

Somebody someday will piss somebody else off. Somebody someday may have the will to only please themselves and forget others' needs.

vrdf.

I'm sure that I'm unsure. Tell me what to do. Count the stars?

So I start counting the stars in your eyes. The stars, or the lights of the lamps of a busy city at night, you have plenty in your eyes. Uncountable.

vrdf.

The moment when you realise that, in the normal time, the demon doesn't actually need to try hard to influence me.

vrdf.

woman. (wo)man. without man.

woman. (wo)man. wedding organizer^*) (to marry) man.

vrdf.

^*)wedding organizer: the one who organizes a wedding, rarely as the bride.

The day when I hear for the first time, "Would you like to grow old with me?" and the day when I realise that everything is not that easy.

vrdf

Tidak bisa mengingat hal yang ingin diingat itu jauh lebih baik dibandingkan teringat-ingat hal yang tidak ingin diingat-ingat lagi.

verda farida

Sakit hati itu bukan tentang apa yang dia lakukan pada hatimu tetapi apa yang tidak bisa kamu dapatkan atas apa yang hatimu minta.

Zarry Hendrik

If only it's the body that could be divided into pieces, not the heart.

verda farida

Eh, bisa sih. Pake gergaji

It's really the time when I desperately need a pill to erase memory. Mine and yours.

verda farida

I love seeing those who are falling in love. The hopes and the doubts are colliding, yet they don't refuse to fall. Keep falling. Because the best part of being in love is when you fall.

Until the day you find out that hearts were made to be broken

verda farida

By the way, good morning, you. May good days follow you always.

 

***

..the fact is, good days won't follow you always, My Dear. That's the law of nature, no?

Dih, pagi udah demotivational begini ~~~\o/ Mandi, dah! Lalu mendaki gunung dan lewati lembah saja lagi, jika hatimu tak bisa kudaki (9'-')9

verda farida

Should we toss a coin to decide whether we should be happy or not?

verda farida

People want the worse that fulfill their mortal desires albeit it leads to a never ending sorrow in the end.

verda farida

I really need to synchronise my brain and, at least, my hand. If my heart can not be synced at all. Really..

verda farida

Everybody has someone who ruins their lives and some ruin their own lives. Both will finally ruin someone else's life. Happy with that, People?

verda farida

Memang sudah seharusnya kepala itu bisa dibongkarpasang. Supaya bisa istirahat disaat migren, dan supaya bisa menyisihkan memori yang tidak ingin diingat-ingat lagi, kemudian menyimpan memori di laci meja sampai ia berdebu. 

verda farida

I now understand the meaning of neverland you explained to me a long time ago, a land where no one recognises us, a land that never existed. My Dear, if neverland did exist, we both know that you will still be where you stand right now, and I will be here, separated miles away. What's the point of having a neverland then?

Ah, that's why you call it 'neverland'. A land you created, to diminish my worries.

verda farida